You’d think it would be easy… I give a group of experienced leaders a real-world scenario and ask them to create as many open questions as they can to expand the conversation and surface new perspectives.
But it’s not easy at all!
In fact, this activity in my Leaders Who Ask program often provokes frustration, laughter, and even a bit of discomfort.
Why?
Because most of us are so used to solving, advising, or steering, that we don’t realise how rarely we ask real questions. We say things like ‘Have you tried…?’ or ‘What if you just…?’ and call them questions. Grammatically, they are questions, but really??? To the other person they feel like a thinly veiled instruction.
What this activity reveals is that asking well is a skill — and like any skill, it takes intention and effort to develop.
The first few questions often come easily… then there’s a pause. And that’s when the real shift begins. Leaders dig deeper. They get more curious. The quality of questions starts to change.
And so does the conversation.
Want to try it yourself? Here’s your scenario:
Your direct report says to you: ‘I can’t influence a key stakeholder. She listens to you… Can you sort it out for me?’
How quickly can you come up with 10 open questions that would get you into this conversation — without you jumping in to solve it? And what are your questions?
Now here’s your challenge. Next time someone brings you a challenge, suspend your need to solve and complete. Instead, ask a question to unlock richer discussion and understanding.
Go Fearlessly
Corrinne
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