Caution: Are you asking a question in sheep’s clothing?

Are you asking open questions or leading the witness?

I run an activity in my Leaders Who Ask program that always gets a strong reaction. I give participants a workplace scenario — a peer in conflict, a team member asking for help — and ask them to generate as many questions as they can to open up the conversation.

Simple enough, right? Except it’s not!

Two patterns show up again and again:

Leaders default to closed questions — ‘Have you tried talking to her?’ or ‘Is this the first time it’s happened?’ These aren’t bad questions… but they often limit the conversation.
Even more common are leading questions — ‘Don’t you think it would be better if you just looped her in earlier?’ or ‘Isn’t the real issue that she doesn’t trust you?’ I call these questions in sheep’s clothing — they sound like questions, but they’re really advice wearing a disguise.
Open questions are different. They expand thinking. They create space for insight.

And most importantly, they don’t carry an agenda. Think: ‘What’s making this relationship difficult?’ or ‘How do you want to approach it?’

It takes practice – and awareness – to notice when we’re not truly asking.

So here’s a challenge: Next time you’re about to offer advice, stop and ask yourself – is this a real question… Or a question in sheep’s clothing?

Go Fearlessly – Corrinne